Love Him For Me
by X5 - 452
Summary: And that was it; that one moment was how long it took for Rachel Berry to integrate herself into their lives. Quinn wondered what one supposed to say to the woman the father of her child and sometimes boyfriend was in love with. Puckleberry Quinn. Futfic


**AN: Firstly. I am awful with coming up with story titles so please excuse the lameness. So yeah, decided to do a one shot. Kind of angsty but has a happy ending...sorta. I knocked this out in a day so apologies if the grammar, spelling yadda yadda stinks.**

REPOSTED DUE TO REALISATION THAT THE FORMATTING WAS STUFFED UP IN THE FLASHBACK!

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**Tagline: And that was it; that one moment was how long it took for Rachel Berry to integrate herself into their lives.**

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**Love Him For Me**

The juice bar was not where Quinn thought that this conversation would take place. She had always envisioned there would be slaps involved, yelling, screaming even hair pulling but instead they were seated at a table drinking their juices, both silent. All the words Quinn wanted to yell at her never made it past her lips. They were two women who would always be joined by their love for a man. In high school it had been Finn Hudson between them but now five years later it was Noah Puckerman; different boy but the dance was still the same. Though this time Quinn had the advantage; she had Caroline, she had his baby girl whom he loved more than anything. She and Puck (Noah when she loved him, Puck when she hated him; she hated him right now) were raising their daughter together just like he had wanted. They had stayed in Lima after they finished high school and Quinn worked as a teacher's aide and Assistant Cheerio's Coach at McKinley while Puck worked at Burt Hummel's garage. He had picked up the job end of senior year and liked working there so much that Burt gave him a full time job when he finished high school. They weren't rolling in dough but they made enough to get by. They had a dingy two bedroom apartment together and their little girl was seven years old now; adorable and perfect, half of him and half of her. Quinn was only twenty-three and Puck was twenty-four; they were so young but life and hardship had made them age beyond their years.

Quinn and Puck had been together on and off for years, they were the couple that everyone knew would always get back together whatever happened. They had lost track of the other kids in Glee. Matt and Mike moved to LA together to try and get work as back up dancers, Brittany and Santana were cheerleaders for the LA Galaxy, Finn was working at a law firm in Chicago, Tina was in med school in Chicago and Kurt and Mercedes had high tailed it to New York to try and become fashion designers. Artie was still in Lima helping out at his dad's business; Quinn and Puck ran into him every so often; he was the only one they stayed in touch with, though Quinn knew of Puck's 'Rachel Berry Shrine' hidden away in his office at work. She had stumbled upon it one day while waiting for him to finish work. It seemed harmless enough; a shoe box with a star on it but when she opened it she realised what it was. Photos of Rachel and 'her' Noah, letters, newspaper articles detailing her rise to fame and little mementos that Quinn knew he would only ever share with Rachel. She'd found it years ago, before Rachel even came back to Lima. Quinn had tried not to let it bother her how much he still cared about his ex-high school girlfriend and she had been doing a good job of feigning indifference until Rachel swept back into town a couple of months ago taking a break from performing to spend time with her sick father.

_Rachel had been at the store picking up groceries when Quinn had seen her. Puck had been busy choosing cereal with Caroline and Quinn just stared, knowing the brown haired girl instantly. She had changed her look since high school; becoming a star had its advantages, but the confident way she carried herself hadn't changed at all. Quinn had turned away pretending not to see her and snappily told Puck to hurry up so that they could get out of the store. Quinn hurried them to the check out and while Puck was paying for the groceries Quinn was sighing in relief that she had gotten away without seeing her when Quinn heard her musical voice behind them._

_"Quinn? Noah?"_

_Quinn had hated the way Puck's face just lit up with happiness at the sight of her, a grin stretching across his face._

_"Rachel Berry," Puck said her name almost in awe as he pulled her in for a hug that Quinn felt went much longer than appropriate. When they pulled apart Rachel was still smiling at Puck adoringly. Puck looked Rachel up and down taking in her new clothes, "Being a movie star suits you."_  
_Rachel laughed then she seemed to remember Quinn and turned to her._

_"Quinn, so nice to see you again," Rachel said sweetly and Quinn was surprised to see that Rachel was being sincere. Rachel hugged her gently and Quinn returned it weakly. Rachel turned her attention to Caroline who was suddenly all shy as she hid behind her father, holding onto his leg, "And this must be Caroline."_

_Rachel knelt down so that she and Caroline were on eye level._

_"I'm Rachel," Rachel introduced herself holding out her hand and Caroline just stared at the hand she offered and then at Rachel face._

_"You're Elphaba from Wicked," Caroline whispered in awe having seen the movie hundreds of times and Rachel laughed._

_"Yes I am but I'm also a friend of your mom and dad's, we went to high school together."_

_"Wow," Caroline cooed excitedly, still just staring at Rachel. _

_"She's seen the movie a hundred times," Puck interjected his eyes taking Rachel in, never leaving her face._

_Quinn could practically see him walking away from her towards Rachel. In high school Quinn had never been able to figure out what it was boys saw in Rachel but somehow, after Sectionals, Rachel had more boys than she knew what to do with. First Finn, then Jesse St James, Finn again for a couple of months, Matt for a month, Mike for two weeks, Finn for a third time which apparently wasn't a charm as the saying went then lastly Puck for a year. Puck had been Rachel's last high school relationship and when they had broken up Rachel left Lima and Puck and Quinn had gotten together._

_"Well it's been nice seeing you Rachel," Quinn wanted to put as much distance between Rachel Berry and her family as possible, "But we have to get going."_

_Quinn started herding Puck and Caroline towards the exit but Puck turned to look back at Rachel clearly not ready to let her walk out of his life again._

_"Come over for dinner Rachel, tell us about New York."_

And that was it; that one moment was how long it took for Rachel Berry to integrate herself into their lives. That night Quinn and Puck fought about Rachel, it wasn't the first time and it would be the last, and they broke up again. He moved to live with his mom who was used to taking him in when they were on the outs and she had the two bedroom apartment to herself with Caroline who cried for her daddy the first three nights near breaking Quinn's heart because Caroline had always been daddy's girl and Quinn always felt like she wasn't enough.

Quinn was startled from her reverie when Rachel gave an audible sigh and used her straw to stir her juice as she recrossed her legs. Quinn just watched her wondering if she should be the one to speak first; but then what was one supposed to say to the woman the father of her child and sometimes boyfriend was in love with.

"I'm pregnant," Rachel blurted out breaking the silence with her bombshell. The 'it's his' went unsaid but Quinn still heard it clear as day. Of course it was his. Honestly Quinn should have expected this. She knew firsthand how careless Puck could be with protection when he was over amorous. Caroline was living proof of that.

"I see," Quinn said quietly taking a sip of her juice and staring at the table. There was a long pause before Rachel spoke again ruefully,

"We are very civilised aren't we?"

Quinn resisted the urge to reach across the table and tear Rachel's hair out.

"Please don't try and make a joke out of this," Quinn said tightly and the dry smile disappeared from Rachel's face.

"My apologies."

Quinn felt she had a lot more to apologise for other than poor timing for attempted humour. Quinn leaned back in her chair as the gravity of the situation weighed down on her. Rachel was pregnant to Puck. To the man Quinn had called hers for over five years. It stung. Whether Quinn loved him (she wasn't sure she did) or not, he had been hers and now he wasn't.

"What are you going to do?" Quinn asked wondering if this was the moment when Rachel told her that she wanted Puck all to herself and that Quinn was going to have to fight her for him. Quinn steeled her spine preparing herself for what was to come. She was suitably shocked when this came out of Rachel's mouth.

"I'm leaving."

For a second Quinn thought that she had been hearing things.

"What?" Quinn asked in disbelief and Rachel sighed, lifting her eyes to look into Quinn's'.

"I can't do what you do Quinn, I'm not ready to stay in Lima, and also..." Rachel shrugged helplessly, an apology in her eyes, "I can't take him from you and Caroline any more than I already have. I'm going back to New York."

That was the second bombshell that Rachel dropped in two minutes. Quinn blinked a couple of times as she took another sip of her drink. Rachel did the same, Quinn suspected more to fill the silence than for the actually need to have a drink.

"Are you keeping...?" Quinn wanted to say 'it' but it felt wrong referring to a baby like that so instead she gestured towards Rachel's still very slim stomach. Rachel's hand strayed down to her stomach protectively; Quinn knew the answer before Rachel spoke.

"Yes. Being a single mother is not ideal but I can raise the baby on my own. I have money and a house in New York. I called Finn, he lives in New York now and he said he would help me however he can," Rachel replied sensibly and at the mention of Finn Quinn's heart tightened. Finn; the one that got away from her but was apparently still under Rachel's thumb. Lovable, adorable Finn. Again Quinn wondered how someone like Rachel managed to have all the boys they knew falling at her feet.

"Finn always did love being the knight in shining armour," Quinn mused sarcastically, then she bit her lower lip before asking, "Have you told him?"

They both knew Quinn was not referring to Finn. Rachel averted her eyes and Quinn took that as a no.

"No, he will only try to stop me, you know that," Rachel told her sadly and Quinn nodded. She did know, she knew Puck would do anything to keep Rachel. Rachel looked up at Quinn, her brown eyes apologetic and honest, "I've already ruined everything but if I leave with a clean break you and he..."

"He doesn't love me," Quinn interrupted Rachel before she could finish that sentence. The truth of her own words was a slap to Quinn's face but she continued anyway, "I don't know that he ever did. I always felt like a replacement for you, he couldn't have you so he settled for me."

Quinn felt the tears pricking at her eyes and she struggled to regain her composure. The last thing she wanted to do was fall apart in front of the girl carrying her on-again/off-again boyfriend's new baby. Rachel was looking at her with that expression that Quinn had been privy to in high school.

"Quinn..." Rachel reached out a hand to place on top of Quinn's but Quinn snatched her hand away before Rachel could touch her.

"Stop pitying me," Quinn snapped, her ice queen demeanour coming back in full force. Rachel actually flinched and drew her hand back. There was that silence again. Quinn composed herself to ask the question that mattered, "Do you love him?"

Rachel looked reluctant to say but Quinn didn't waiver her eyes. Rachel could answer this question, Quinn had to know that the reason Rachel ruined their family was for something more than just lust.

"Yes," Rachel whispered, "I have ever since our senior year."

That was the one part of Puck and Rachel's story that Quinn didn't understand. The two had been head over heels for one another. Caroline had been one turning two the year Puck and Rachel dated and Rachel had been wonderful with her; sometimes Quinn had thought she was better with Caroline than Quinn was. And Quinn knew Puck thought that too though he never said anything. Puck and Rachel had been solid together. One second they were celebrating graduation and the next Rachel was crying and Puck was on a three day bender. Rachel left for New York two days after the graduation party. A week after Rachel left Puck was at Quinn's door begging for the chance to be a family. Quinn had assumed Rachel broke up with him and Puck had never said anything to the contrary so it didn't make sense to her that Rachel was saying she had loved Puck since senior year when she broke up with him straight after school finished.

"Then why did you break up with him?" Quinn demanded and Rachel flinched as though Quinn slapped her. Quinn's fingers itched to do just that but she restrained herself.

"I didn't, he broke up with me," Rachel replied tightly then she checked her watch before looking back up at Quinn, "My flight is in three hours, I have to get to the airport."

Quinn shook her head. Puck had broken up with Rachel. Puck had sent her away to New York. Quinn realised that Rachel was waiting for her to say something and she frowned suspiciously.

"Why tell me all this? You want me to do your dirty work?" Quinn asked incredulously, flabbergasted that Rachel thought she could send Quinn to tell Puck that Rachel was pregnant and leaving.

"No I'll tell him myself, I just wanted you to know so that you could help him," Rachel hurried to explain herself and Quinn thought that sounded a lot more like the Rachel that she knew. Rachel smoothed out her dress nervously before looking over at Quinn hesitantly asking, "I know I have no right but will you do me a favour Quinn?"

Quinn nearly laughed in her face. Rachel definitely had no right to ask anything of Quinn much less a favour. But Quinn was curious as to what Rachel would ask of her.

"What?"

A small, fond smile came to Rachel's face.

"Love him for me?" Rachel said softly placing a letter on the table that said 'Noah' in Rachel's cursive writing with a star on the back. Rachel and Quinn looked at each other for a long moment and then Rachel offered her a small smile with her parting words, "Ciao Quinn and; I'm sorry, for everything."

It seemed such a cliché thing for her to say but Quinn appreciated the apology all the same. Rachel stood up and nodded her head at Quinn briefly before she exited the juice bar and went to her daddy's car. Quinn watched Rachel go then she finished her juice, got in her car and drove home the whole time feeling completely numb.

* * *

Puck was there watching Caroline when she got home. When Rachel had texted Quinn to meet her at the juice bar today Quinn had asked him to watch Caroline for her, lying and saying that she was going to the hairdresser. Puck looked up as she walked into the living room from where he sat reading with Caroline.

"You're home early, I don't think the hairdresser did a good job, your hair looks the same," Puck said taking in her hair that looked exactly the same as it did when she left earlier that day. He quirked an eyebrow in confusion which was the look he wore when he was concerned. Now that Quinn knew everything she wondered if he had made that face at Rachel before.

"Why did you break up with Rachel?" Quinn demanded not sitting down instead folding her arms across her chest. Quinn saw Caroline look from her to Puck in confusion and for a split second Quinn felt ashamed for questioning Puck in front of their daughter but she forced herself not to care. Quinn had to know. Puck frowned at Quinn angrily though he managed to keep a loving look on his face when he turned to Caroline.

"Caroline hunny, go watch Wicked so mom and dad can talk ok?" Puck suggested to Caroline who was smart enough to know when she wasn't wanted. She pressed a kiss to her daddy's cheek and then skipped off to her room. Puck waited until Caroline was in her bedroom and the door was shut before turning to Quinn dropping his facade to demand, "What's this about Quinn?"

"End of senior year, why did you break up with Rachel?" Quinn repeated her question and Puck furrowed his eyebrows at her. Quinn knew that to him this seemed like it was coming from left field but she didn't care, she had to know. Quinn had no idea why it mattered so much, she just knew that it did matter. Puck gave a deep sigh and ran a hand through his short bristly hair. The Mohawk was gone, along with their childhood innocence.

"She was never meant for Lima Quinn, anyone with eyes could see that. How could I ask her to give up her dreams and raise Caroline with you and me?" Puck finally spoke up and Quinn took in what he was saying, reading between the lines. She sat down heavily on the worn out couch that they had gotten second hand from the Hummel's.

It made sense now. Rachel had mentioned to the girls in Glee that she might defer going to New York for a year to see things through with Puck just before the graduation party. Kurt had been with them getting ready and must have told Puck about Rachel's change of plans because that night Puck had broken up with Rachel and then she left for New York. Puck pushed Rachel away like that on purpose. He had loved Rachel enough to give her up. And it was then that Quinn knew that Puck would never love her, not in the way that he loved Rachel. Quinn and Puck were joined by Caroline and always would be but whatever it was that Puck and Rachel had could never be duplicated.

"So you set her free and trapped me instead?" Quinn managed to say tightly, a sarcastic smile coming to her face as she realised this was exactly what happened. Puck looked guilty for a second before he shook his head.

"What's gotten in to you Quinn? You're acting crazy."

It was Quinn's turn to shake her head. She wasn't acting crazy, she was just seeing the truth for the first time in her life.

"Do you love her?" the question Quinn had to ask and the answer she wasn't sure she wanted to hear. Puck was silent for a long moment but he wasn't at all hesitant when he finally answered.

"Yes."

Quinn swallowed hard before asking the second question and the answer she was afraid to hear.

"Do you love me?"

A pause yet again, slightly longer.

"Yes."

Quinn licked her lips and asked one more question.

"More than her?"

Silence. A silence that said more than his words ever could. Quinn gave a rueful smile and stood up slowly.

"She's pregnant," Quinn told him bluntly and Puck's mouth dropped open.

"What?"

"She's pregnant and she's moving back to New York," Quinn told him calmly, "But if you leave now you might be able to stop her."

Puck just stood there staring at her blankly and Quinn pressed the letter Rachel had given her into Puck's hands then Quinn turned and retreated to her bedroom. A tiny part of Quinn hoped that he would follow her but instead all she heard was the front door slam and then his car peel out of her driveway as though the devil were at his heels. The door opened and Caroline was there standing in Quinn's doorway looking perplexed.

"Why did daddy leave without saying goodbye?" Caroline asked, her tiny voice wavering with worry. Quinn was so sorry that her daughter worried. Quinn was supposed to be her mother, she was supposed to protect her from worrying but instead she was the cause of it. Quinn stood up and held her arms out and Caroline ran to wrap her tiny arms around Quinn's waist. Quinn inhaled her sweet scent.

"Rachel is going back to New York and your daddy is trying to stop her," Quinn told her daughter the truth and Caroline pulled away from her looking outraged and heartbroken. She looked exactly like her father in that moment.

"Why is Rachel leaving? She said she was going to teach me to sing just like her. I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay," Caroline's eyes filled with crocodile tears and she stomped her foot for good measure. Rachel had reconnected with the grown up Caroline and the two adored each other.

"So does your daddy," Quinn said evenly careful not to let any emotion seep into her voice. Quinn lay down on her side then gestured for Caroline to cuddle up with her on the bed which Caroline did without complaint.

"Do you want her to stay?" Caroline asked innocently and Quinn's arms tightened around her daughter. Quinn had no answer for that question. Instead she kissed the top of Caroline's head lovingly.

"Let's go make dinner, have you finished your homework?"

* * *

It had been a quiet night. Quinn had cooked dinner while Caroline did her home work then they had eaten dinner and watched a little television before Caroline went to bed. Quinn had tried calling Puck but the call went straight to voicemail. Quinn went to bed not long after Caroline since there was no sign of Puck returning.

Quinn awoke just before midnight and stared at her ceiling. It was so quiet. She got to her feet and shuffled into the kitchen when she caught sight of Puck passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of Jack on the floor. So he didn't catch her in time. Rachel did what Quinn wanted to do all those years ago but never had the guts to. Rachel got out of Lima, even with a baby in her belly she got out of Lima. Quinn looked down at Puck, at Noah, who looked like he was in pain even though he was sleeping. She lightly traced a hand down his face. He was a wonderful father and Caroline adored him. Quinn loved her daughter but to an extent had always resented her as selfish as that seemed. Until tonight Quinn had never thought about doing something to change her life but seeing Rachel take control of her life made Quinn want to take control of hers.

Quinn crept back to her room and started packing. It didn't take her long to get her meagre belongings into a suitcase, the same one she tugged around with her sophomore year when she had been homeless and pregnant with Caroline. Puck was dead to the world and Quinn placed her suitcase by the door and stopped by her daughter's room. Caroline deserved a mother who didn't resent her, a mother who would love her much more than Quinn could ever bring herself to; that was what Quinn told herself to make what she was about to do seem understandable. Quinn kissed Caroline's forehead gently stroking her face lovingly, memorising every inch of her.

"I'll miss you sweet Caroline," Quinn whispered kissing her again, "But I've got to find myself. I'll always love you and I'll be home one day."

Quinn crept back to the living room and stopped to look down at Puck. There were no words. She left a letter on the kitchen table and pressed a kiss to his cheek in farewell.

Quinn opened up the front door and was surprised to find Rachel standing there looking frazzled and lost. There were tears running down her face that she didn't even bother trying to wipe away. Quinn had to laugh at the coincidence. Of all the places Rachel could have gone; she came here, right now at this time.

"I couldn't get on the plane," Rachel sniffled not noticing that Quinn was manoeuvring outside with a suitcase as she continued, "I always thought I'd never want to come back to Lima but now that I'm here I never want to leave."

Quinn couldn't have found a better person to replace her as Caroline's mother. Everything happened for a reason, Quinn firmly believed that now.

"Take care of my baby girl Rachel," Quinn said softly and Rachel looked at Quinn then down at her suitcase finally understanding where it was Quinn was going so late at night.

"Quinn," Rachel gasped in horror, "You can't just leave."

"I'll come back," Quinn promised but even to her own ears it sounded like a lie. Rachel wasn't stupid, she heard the waver in Quinn's voice.

"When?" Rachel demanded wanting a set time but Quinn just smiled sadly and shook her head.

"I'll call," Quinn made a promise that she felt she could possibly keep. She picked up her suitcase and started walking to the car but she stopped and turned back around, "Hey Rachel?"

"Yes," Rachel seemed to sense that this was important. Quinn looked down at the ground and then back up at her.

"Love him for me?" Quinn told her tightly feeling a couple of tears stray from her eyes and Rachel nodded.

"I always have," she promised Quinn not a hint of hesitance in her words.

Satisfied that Puck and Caroline would be okay Quinn threw her suitcase into her beat up car and turned the ignition. Quinn looked up to find Rachel still standing at the door to the apartment just watching her and Quinn held up a hand in a farewell wave that Rachel returned before Quinn pulled out onto the road and drove away.

She looked back once; just once.

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**AN: So...it was kind of a happy ending. Rachel came back. Quinn finally left like she always wanted. Poor Caroline is sort of stuck in the middle though, poor thing.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me if you liked it!**

**Might do a sequel in Caroline's POV of Quinn coming back years later...maybe. Seriously don't hold your breath or you might die LOL**


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